Just for a Moment

            I was walking along the seashore, the sea strike my bare foot while the fresh air strikes my hair, too.  There are no people around, I was alone and broken that day because of the hurt that cause of someone I love.  And now I’m trying to moving on.  My mind was scattered and think all those the happy moments we had, but it wouldn’t happen anymore.  A masculine voice arouses my reminiscing of my past, and I don’t mind that I thought that it’s only my imagination.  And I continued walking; I feel that there’s someone following me.  I walk fast, but I hear the voice again.  “Don’t be afraid, I’m not bad as what you think. I saw you walking alone and I trying to follow you, I think you need someone to talk to? And it’s the same of what I feel now”, he said frankly.  I stop walking and look back who’s the owner of that voice.  I see a bare footed also and the cute face of his own.  But it seems lonely.  “Why you’re following me? I don’t even know you and the same with you.”  I say with irritating face.  “I’m sorry, I just need someone to talk and when I saw you alone I think you’re the one who can understand me.” He said with disappointment. I continued walking and never mind him but he run and shout over me.  “Wait!  There’s no big deal if we became friends, right?  Don’t you worry you’re harmless if you’re with me.”  He said with serious face.  “And how I can be sure of it?  Why me? There are so many people…  Ahmm… Sorry tayo lang pala nandito!”  The surrounding quiet for a moment as we walk together.  After few minutes we sit in the sand together and starting a conversation.  He tells me about himself and I tell him about myself, too.  We discover that we’re same broken that day.  We do not know that while we’re talking we start laughing already just like we know already each other.  And surprisingly we’re same school also.  “It’s a small world talaga”, as I said.

            Every now and then we’re talking to each other, even in the cell phone.  We’re both happy if we are together.  One day, while we’re sitting in the study table in our school… “Alam mo ang kulit mo talaga, even I’m in the class you’re calling me.  Maybe you’re not entering the class?!” I teased him.  “Of course not!  It’s only a coincidence that it’s our vacant, sorry wala lang akong magawa.  Is there something wrong if I call you?” he said with sad in his face.  “Nothing!  I’m just kidding, then I smiled at him.  He put down his head in my shoulder take my hand and teased it.  Then he began to close his eyes and feel like sleeping. “Don’t there Mr. Almazora you’re so heavy to bear,” but he didn’t mind it.  I just let him asleep, while asking myself what if he’s gone. I’m afraid to wake up someday that he’s not at my side anymore.  I’m hoping that it will never happen.  I don’t know why I feel like this.

            Many times we spend together, we we’re like lover’s that so close together.  One time while we’re sitting in the study table in our school. “You know Faith, I’m always happy if you’re with me and you’re always there for me if I needed someone.  I hope it will last,” he said with lonely face. “Why you’re telling like that? There’s something wrong Zed?” I ask with worries.  The bell ring, we have a class so we separate each other and go to our classes.  While I’m walking, I’m thinking that maybe there something bothering with Zed.  But, I just never mind it.  I saw my friend walking and I come to her and we walk together going to our room.  But, before we reached our room…”Hi! Ms. Santillan, how are you with Zed? Ay! You don’t know me yet.  Anyway, I’m Cheska girlfriend of Zed.  I want you to know na hindi pa kami break at sana lang lubayan mo siya.  Nagkasamaan lang kami ng loob but it doesn’t mean na wala na kami,” said of the stranger girl to me.  While she walks away, I was shocked and speechless and I look to my friend. “You know girl, don’t believe her.  She doesn’t have a proof; try to ask Zed before you make a move.” Shayne my friend said.  “I don’t know Shayne, she’s accusing me for something I do not know and I want to ask Zed later,” I said.

            After our class, while we’re sitting in the study table.  “Zed, is it true?” as I said.  “About what?” he said. “Ahmm.. That you and Cheska still together,” I tell him frankly. “What?  She talked to you? And you believe her? You know she’s only making a story, I don’t love her anymore, and she makes me insane!  It’s enough for me that you’re with me always,” He said.

            “And you make me as you’re reason? That’s why! You know I don’t care in your relationship and there’s nothing wrong with that!  I’m just asking you.” I said with irritable face.  I don’t know why I’m acting like this.  “You’re just telling like you don’t care about me,” he said.  “It’s not what I mean! Maybe we just need to go home.” I said and I stood up and want to go but he’s still sitting. “So, you don’t want to go home yet?” I went to his side, take his hand and force him to stand. “We want to go home, never mind about that I’m sorry!” I said to him.  “I’m sorry din, I’m just telling the truth.” He said with apology. “I understand! Forget it.” And we walk together.

            In the morning, while we’re walking inside the campus.  “Hi! Zed, How are you babe?” Cheska said.  I’m so irritated and stare Zed.  And he spoke, “Can you stop calling me like that? We’re not anymore! You’re only destroying us, if you don’t want to stop that I don’t know what I could do.  I love Faith, and it will never changed.” And he walked away, I followed him and trying to ask him why he tells like that to Cheska but he didn’t answer it.  “I have a class Faith, about you?” he simply said.  “Yes, I have too! Just see you later”, I just said. At hindi nalang ako nagtanong.  “Okay, take care Faith”. He said.  “Thanks! You, too”. I replied and just smiled. And we separate.

            After my class, I went to the study table where we always meet.  But, he was not there.  I sit and text him, asking if where is he but he didn’t replied.  Now, I’m trying to call him but he didn’t answer it.  I wait almost one hour but he didn’t come, I just go home. After 2 days he is not calling even texting me.  I tried to ask his friend but they say that he’s not attending the class.  I’m worrying about him, I don’t know what happen.

            It’s Friday, 8:00 o’clock in the morning already but I felt bad.  I was sitting in my bed and think of him when my phone ring I saw who’s calling me and I was surprised that it was Zed!  And I answered, “Hello!  Good morning, Zed bakit ngayon ka lang tumawag? I’m worrying about you!” I fell so nervous and wait for his answer.  “Ahmm… this is brother of Zed, my brother was confined in the hospital because he was attacked by his cancer! And he wants to see you…” said on the other line.  “Cancer?!” I was shocked to know that, tears fall from my eyes. “Yes, it’s sad to say but we just accept it. He’s waiting you here,” he’s brother said.”I will be there for a minutes, please tell him.’ I said but I’m out of my mind. His brother told me in what hospital they are. I moved fast, take a bath, dressed up, and fix myself and then go.  I text also my friend that I can’t attend the class.

            When I enter the hospital, I can’t believe that it will happen.  I walk fast and looking for his room and when I saw it I’m so afraid to see him in that kind of situation, but I missed him I want to see and hug him tight, for he knows that I love him so much! And when I enter his room, I saw him lying in the bed and there was also his family.  I was shy to come but his brother saw me and he carries me going to him.  He was crying when he saw me,”Faith?!” he only said and take my hand.”Yes Zed! I hugged him tight while saying… Please Zed, fight for it hindi ko kaya mawala ka. Please…” He hugs me tight, while saying… “I’m so sorry to hide this to you.  I don’t want you to worry about me, it’s because I love you! Faith I want you to be happy even in a short time of my life. Noong palagi akong wala sa school, nagpapagamot ako because I’m still hoping na gagaling pa ako. I want to live for you, but it will never happen. Matagal na kitang mahal noong una kitang nakita sa school and when I saw you again in the seashore I come to you because I want to know you. And on what I am saying to Cheska, it’s true. I love you so much Faith kahit wala na ako don’t forget what I’ve always telling you “Always take care of yourself.” I’m sorry to hurt you again.” He said with losing an air to breathed, “Zed, I want you to know that I love you, too. Parang hindi ko kaya.” I said while hugging him. He smile and kiss my forehead, he look to his family and give a sign. “Mahal ko kayo lahat, Ma, Pa, Kuya, my Sisters, and Faith!” his last words.  Zed, closed slowly his teary eyes. It’s been so hurt for me, just like I don’t want to live. After his burial, I go to the seashore where we meet and know each other. I sit on the sand while crying so much, bowed my head in my knees and thinking it’s only a dream but it denied with reality.  “Zed, you make me happy just for a moment but it makes me sad again because you’re gone. Hindi ko kaya, but I do it for you. I can’t forget you, thank you so much for all those times. I love you so much!” then I stand, take a stone and strike to the sea. At last, I walk away.